What the nature of a person should be.
And about the right way of life.
It is suggested that before beginning with this Paper, the reader think by himself/herself what the above should be.
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A
1
Being good-hearted. Having goodness in oneself.
(-that being a defining quality of the person’s character).
Being moral derives from having a good heart, basically; and from having a good emotional nature.
‘Being good’ does not mean only that the person has no negative qualities in him. It basically means that the person has some ‘purely positive’ qualities of the mind.
1b
Some special, valuable or elevated qualities also.
Having a ‘nobility’. Being a special person.
It is a heartening thought that every person in humankind can be a ‘special person’. There need not be any persons of ‘ordinary’ character (not meant in a wrong way).
Gentleness, sensitivity, empathy, kindness, nobleness of spirit/character are ‘special’ qualities.
Sense of beauty – whether for things natural or man-made – and a love for it- is another such quality.
Culture is such a quality.
1c
The ability to love, to love a good person or thing well, deeply is perhaps the most important aspect of having a ‘good mind’. Caring, making overtures, going out of one’s way to help, serve; ‘not being able to control oneself in’ doing a good or courageous deed, or acting in a tender, affectionate way.
1b
An innocence and goodness. Simplicity/plainness (which is not the want of knowledge or sophisticated thought and advanced mental faculties).
2
A person should be innocent.
3
He/she should be honest. -Ethical.
4
Sincere
-In spirit and intent. -not only in tangible ways.
5
He should be gentle. Polite.
There should be gentlemanliness or ladylike character in him/her.
6
In addition, in a responsible and conscious way, ‘systematically’, he should be civil, considerate, and have civic sense.
He should think/pre-plan in his/her mind, what actions or inactions of his may cause harm or inconvenience/distress to innocent people, and how to preclude/remedy that.
(-or not even necessarily his own conduct; it is the harm or offence to innocent people itself, that should be watched out for. -Whether it is caused by natural factors or people other than oneself).
He should try to anticipate what problems certain other persons may have, what help they might need. He/she should go out of his/her way to help innocent people. -Take such initiatives.
Helping others not only as a token or partial contribution, but ‘seeing it through’. At least a few times in his/her life, he should try to not only ‘contribute’ but get a person out of his/her crisis completely. -By taking upon himself the responsibility. (The cases should be chosen according to the seriousness of the crisis).
-if every individual or many start acting like this, then let us imagine how much of a good difference it would make.
[ NOTE : Three paragraphs above, it is said ‘innocent people’. There, it is also meant to include ‘ordinary’ people i.e. persons whose character includes some negative or wrong qualities (but not extremely so). Also, here ‘ordinary’ includes persons who are rich or powerful. As morally desirable and prudent (i.e. if not seriously counter-productive in the given case, help should also be rendered to persons who have mentalities that are/are likely to be seriously harmful to innocent persons) ].
(contd.)-
-Someone who ‘takes the trouble’. That is a good person.
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7
He tries to make others ‘comfortable’ and take care of any emotional problems they may be having. He is caring and supportive.
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8
He/she should do all the above to the extent he can reasonably spare his time and energy. (- and money). -In proportion to the seriousness of the need/problem of the other person.
Be a dependable person. A rock of support for other innocent and good persons.
[ Even at considerable cost/pains to himself (as per the worthiness of the cause/ the seriousness of the need, how deserving the people concerned are. He should ‘not notice’ or ‘give credit’ to himself/herself for that ].
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9
-Do good for his society, community (i.e. people of his town/city) and humankind.
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10
One should be of a character that he/she not only ‘does favours’ and gives tips to others, but when necessary, thinks deeply, plans, hustles, takes risks and fights for the sake of other innocent and good human beings.
– i.e. as per the worthiness of the need, he/she takes complete responsibility for a satisfactory outcome.
But as a practical tip, let it be said that he/she should keep ensured at the same time that all his/her (own) important affairs are in order, his/her critical well-being/interests are secure. He owes that to the happiness of his parents. Also, without it, his ability to render help to others would be severely reduced.
-It is also in a way his moral duty to himself.
As a simple example, if I do not have a healthy, stable earning or my health and fitness levels are poor, then how effectively can I do good for my family/society ?
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11
A person should do good for the sake of the other person. And for the sake of the ideal.
-always keep this in his/her mind; be alert/aware about that and attentive to the need.
He should not harbour the mentality of wanting to have a good feeling in himself, -to do good deeds in order to feel good about himself. Such a thought should not occur to him.
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12
He/she should have interest in culture. In literature, intellectual matters, science and technology. He/she should spend a large or major amount of his/her free time in reading about and watching such content.
In childhood and girlhood/boyhood – before the twenties – reading is his/her greatest source of enjoyment and the thing he/she is most interested in.
A healthy amount of outdoor activities, sports should also be there. The young person likes that also.
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12
He/she should be a cultured person.
-And he/she still can be and should be a simple person (saral).
Culture means loving some things. Considering them one’s own. Not just refinement or sophistication.
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13
In spirit, he should have a preference for, belief in plainness or simplicity. -he should have simple goodness.
[-Though sometimes, as part of leisure/recreational activities or cultural persuasions, for a change, he may ‘try’ intricate or ‘complex’ things. He may even be better than most, at conceptualizing and understanding complex things].
However the quality of plainness and simplicity is not dichotomous with-, and may co-exist with engagement in and enjoyment of ‘sophisticated’ things -e.g. in arts, science and technological concepts. There is goodness in these things too.
But the fundamental spirit is one of simplicity.
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14
He should have ‘character’ in him.
-(the above word is meant in a sense that is not perhaps easy to define, but one knows it when one sees it).
Honour.
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15
Goodness.
Kindness. Compassion.
A person should have love in him/her.
The last three lines mention probably the most important qualities in a person (even at the cost of all the others).
All other qualities can be derived from these three or aren’t of the highest importance.
16
Courage. Boldness. (- being prepared to do what – from the moral point of view – is important to be done, even at very serious cost to oneself).
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17
To that must be added one other quality which is a Guard to Good People. -To good establishments, families, institutions, places and ‘systems’.
-What is that crucial quality?
It is not an ideal quality. It has no ideal merit, desirability, lovability or praiseworthiness.
Still, it is Essential to have in oneself. – For the sake of goodness, -of ideal things.
It is practical sense and capabilities. -without which any good thing is critically vulnerable in this imperfect world. It is essential for the protection and perpetuation of good things.
It is also essential for the creation of good establishments and ‘systems’.
Practical wisdom and prudence. The ability to anticipate and guard against dangers (sometimes simply by avoidance) and pitfalls.
A knowledge of how things work in this world, how other people’s minds work and how one’s own body and mind works. -To be able to better predict and prepare for ‘environmental’ conditions and challenges (the environmental conditions may be external or internal- e.g. one’s own body or certain parts of one’s own mind; basically whatever is ‘outside of’ one’s ‘ideal/good self’ is the ‘environment’).
Ability for thinking quickly and effectively.
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18
The nature of a person should be such that she/he does her/his studies in a good way. In a sincere way.
Studies, vidya (learning) is a pure thing.
She/he should have a liking for knowledge. (This is distinct from mere information or professional training). He/she should derive a certain happiness or enjoyment from learning, reading.
At least from some particular topics which he/she likes. -which are especially ‘his/her own’.
19
He engages in his profession in a conscientious way, serving the needs of people in a satisfactory way.
20
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Thinking only about positive things.
-And ‘normal’ things.
Never about negative or base things except when practically necessary i.e. for a purpose which ultimately serves an ideal goal. (Mostly, simply to understand/solve/prevent a problem).
It is also desirable that a person (at least from late teenage or early twenties onwards) be of ‘large stature’, ‘tall’. Have a nobility in him/her.
At the same time, he/she should be unassuming, ‘relaxed’ and genuinely interested in and solicitous to others, as appropriate (indeed, this is also a part of nobility).
A1b
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It is stated earlier that a person should be innocent. His/her mind should be pure.
There should be dignity in him.
This implies – among other things – the quality of decency and propriety in thoughts, speech, attire (i.e. dress), conduct and acts of expression (e.g. in making a film or painting).
Gentlemanliness, lady-like, truly civilized and responsible conduct.
A1c
Innocence also implies that the person would have intellectual honesty, truthfulness and the sense of fairness.
He would not even have to make a conscious effort for that. He would not be even aware that ‘he is being intellectually honest’.
21
A person should have idealism in him/her. The nature to dream. -having ideal desires.
The mental commitment to working for a good cause.
[The dreams mostly would not be related to any ‘cause’ or ideology. It’s a different matter that the ‘cause’ may be related to, -following from a pure dream].
22
He should have the mentality to appreciate beauty. The right kind of beauty is a kind of goodness.
-Often it evokes feelings.
The right-minded person likes/loves it. Considers it his own.
Tenderness.
23
A right minded person would have a preference for natural things.
– In general.
24
A person should be large hearted.
(He should not think of any material object as his possession (in spirit). Anyone she/he loves or has goodwill toward or anyone in greater need, has a natural right to have/enjoy the thing, even if the legal ownership of it rests in himself).
[Of course the conventional idea of legal possession of things should be continued with. We are not talking about abolition of private property etc.].
Noble-spirited.
(Not everyone can be rich or good-looking- at least for the present – but everyone can be noble. Isn’t that such a wonderful thing?)
Polite. Gentle.
25
One should be clean. -In his person, room where he stays, bed and articles. He should try reasonably, moderately to be neat, orderly.
- The benefit of being orderly and organized is not only one of appearance, but also it increases efficiency, often avoids wastage of time and energy (in searching for things etc.) (as this author can attest strongly to).
One should be systematic and orderly at least up to a functional level.
-At least in important matters.
For example he should know where a particular item is present/placed, so that in moments of need (including unexpected or emergency situations or in moods of rush/tension, he would be assuredly able to retrieve it promptly).
He should always be hygienic. Have healthy habits.
26
A person should have a core of softness; goodness. Sensitivity.
b
Liking. A purity. Culture. Mental qualities, mental culture, intellect. Emotional elements, thoughts. Of nature, relationships. Beauty.
Having an intellect.
27
The ‘system’-, the people of the society should be such that if a boy/young man takes care of his character, takes care to be a person of virtues, then the matter of a good marriage for him, will take care of itself.
If he concentrates on being a good boy, and pretty much that alone, then he would have no problems in getting a good person as his spouse, someone with whom he would be happy.
The same is true for girls and young women.
28
It is desirable that a person have pure good ‘hobbies’.
-Creative qualities; or at least liking and attempts in that direction.
In an ideal scenario/life there is no distinction between a leisure activity and an occupation-related activity.
How good and conducive to well-being it would be if one’s (every person’s) occupational activity were to be something in which the person is ideally interested.
29
Loving, respecting and admiring good qualities and good things in other people and ‘other places’, not just in things associated with oneself (and not just because they are related to ‘self’). -In an open and unreserved way.
He/she should love good things, good people and they should naturally, instantly become his/her own. (apan)
30
This is related to way of life.
A good family life and home life.
31
Excellence in one’s studies/academics. Striving for the ‘ideal practice’, for the ‘good phenomenon’ of gaining knowledge and understanding (or ‘concepts’).
(-And hopefully, in a sense, a ‘wisdom’).
[The above should be independent of school curriculum related studies, though that would naturally form a large part. The syllabus/curriculum itself should be prepared such that it is good.
The parents have the responsibility to introduce/expose the child to good educational and cultural elements. Not only as books, periodicals, but as things like travel, human interactions. ‘Tours’ of specific kinds of places, establishments, museums etc.
-It is desirable that the child (girl or boy) herself/himself have that desire and interest. That liking. -Naturally.
-Somehow.
(-In some cases, perhaps after the initial introduction, they would develop a taste and appreciation for such things. -And it would become an independent, ‘self-propelled’ mentality)].
(contd.) –
Principle 31 applies also to one’s occupation or profession.
Trying for the ‘ideal practice or outcome’ (or the highest/best) in studies and profession (and often in constructive hobbies or ‘projects’) should be done at least in some areas (which ideally interest oneself or have significance for family/social good or humanity).
One should have deep knowledge or thoroughness (‘completion’) at least in some topics. -Or skills (if applicable).
In the field of one’s occupation, one should try to be an authority in at least a few select topics. Have ‘state of the art’ knowledge, analytic and anticipatory, problem-solving abilities and if possible, extend the frontiers of knowledge and productive skills.
Doing one’s studies well (not for ‘academic success’ or a better career), sincerely and taking an interest in knowledge itself (not just ‘information’) is a part of being a good boy. -Good girl.
[ Once that awareness is there in the child, he/she should be that way ].
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A40
A person should think intelligent thoughts.
One should try to think in an intelligent way.
It is desirable that a person have intelligence.
Such thought processes/ideas can be cultivated too (by own effort and also through education).
The desirability of intelligence is both for ideal reasons and for practical ones.
Needless to say, we love the person and is happy to be with him/her. And that is the most important thing. That is a different thing from intelligence.
There should be all encouragement and guidance/help in developing the intelligence of a person, especially young one.
We never know our full potential till we try, and also follow the right methods.
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32
All these principles that have been mentioned above.. it may not be necessary to remember each one of them individually, or even consciously ‘keep’ them in mind. If a person is of the ideal nature, then she/he would think like this and have this kind of a conduct naturally, ‘unconsciously’, ‘automatically’.
All these individual points of conduct and mentality would be maintained by itself. -Without any conscious effort or even ‘intent’ as such. It would be a part of what / who the person is.
B
PRACTICAL IMPLICATIONS AND DETAILS :
1
No worldliness or appreciation of it in him/her.
The last vestiges of worldliness, street-smartness, ‘cleverness’ etc., if previously present, should be removed from the mindset.
2
Being soft-spoken.
(-generally. Though in family gatherings, decent company of friends, merriment, good cheer, moderately loud speech and laughter -are often natural).
~
3
The person would not be having improper or ‘not decent’ thoughts.
He would not indulge or ‘at will’ engage in such thoughts. He would be indifferent to them or affect ‘mental control/conditioning’ i.e. the purposive and – in a way – active removal or barring /exclusion of such thoughts from the mind.
4
It would be unthinkable for the person (at any age) to use or think in terms of improper language.
-Whether abusive/‘swear-word’/expletive or ‘dictionary’ words, but with improper ‘sense’.
(E.g. something that is ‘double-meaning’ or hinting at-, or simply lewd/prurient. i.e., anything that is not decent).
B39
A person should have only good or ‘normal’ thoughts in his/her mind. Always.
A person should not have any ‘negative thoughts’, about negative or wrong or undesirable things’ at all, except to solve a problem. -That is, to protect oneself and other innocent people and institutions from negative things or to try and change the negative or undesirable condition for the better.
_________
Way of Life –
A33
One should have healthy habits.
For example waking up early in the morning (desirably within one hour of first light, and definitely within two; for six days a week; at least -five).
Basically one should have healthy desires. Likings.
~
34
Voluntary plain living.
Voluntary modest expenses and avoidance of purchase or use of luxury items.
Even if one has the means to live in much more comfort or luxury, indulgence.
35
Voluntary ‘moderation in consumption’.
E.g. in foods (including delicacies/treats)(one or two sweets at a time as the routine/standard-even if more would cause me no health problems), entertainment etc.
(So for example say two or only a few songs at a time; no ‘binge-watching’ (except may be rarely).
Also can be called ‘leanness’ in consumption.
Another example , buy one book at a time, not two or three. Especially important in early age. After age 20 or 21, sometimes, it can be relaxed.
(Meaning those books which are for enjoyment, not academic).
[ NOTE : In all matters, one should be sensible. The right mentality ought to be there, but on occasions, it is alright to do a thing because it is more practical, even if it be divergent from the principle. For example if a person is visiting a book fair from afar (and anyway a fair is temporary) and he happens to find a number of rare or pre-owned books he likes, then of course he may buy several of them at one time.
Or once in a while, from about Age 13, one may simply take home, say, two Tintin books, of an evening ].
~
36
One should be true to one’s word, even in minor matters.
-And even when one is not consciously ‘giving one’s word’ or making a promise.
E.g. instead of saying “I’ll be there in 5 minutes” (when I know it cannot take less than 15) as part of habit or because I have picked up this very common practice, I should have a little ‘more consideration’ for my fellow being, treat the person a little better and give the figure/range as per my serious assessment.
– Even if not doing so would not cause any serious problems for the other person.
One should cultivate this habit; then it would become effortless, even unconscious. (Even initially, it would not take more than 1 or a few seconds to determine the realistic time).
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A41
A happy and virtuous life.
This is the aim.
Bankimchandra, the Bengali writer and civil servant had said (in one of his non-fiction works, Dharmtattv (The Theory of Dharm)) “Happiness is the result of the practise of dharm” (in one’s life).
[ Dharm here simply means morality, goodness ].
As extrapolation, it could be added that for happiness, in addition to doing ‘one’s duties’, one must also have good emotions, -such relationships, and culture.
And one needs to understand the reasons behind, the moral desirability of the principles. He needs to appreciate and love the ideas. This – I venture to say – is a form of wisdom.
______________
Way of Life – Practical Implications :
B5
A person would not consume or play a role in the production, distribution, retail, trade, transportation of beverage alcohol.
He should not promote it in any way.
Same as above for tobacco products, of course narcotics, other kinds of addictive or intoxicating substances, marijuana (‘weed’).
~
Derived from Principle A5, is the ‘rule’ that one should not waste anything including food, money (‘splurging’, profligacy), even – in a way, to some extent – time.
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B7
The attire of the person would be right.
It is the state of mind that matters. The observable conduct or appearance simply follows/derives from it. It should not be necessary to state the following. But it may have some practical necessity.
8
Objectively – there would be no (unclad) gap between the person’s upper and lower garment.
(Except in the case of a sari, but this should be worn properly. If so, there would be either no gap or it would not be ‘noticeable’).
9
For adults and persons above Age 15, outside of home or in the company of persons who are not immediate family-members, the lower garment should always extend beyond knee-level.
The shoulders should be covered. 10
Ideally, this certainly would not have been explicitly stated, anyway : certain body parts should not be visible e.g. cleavage. 11
12
Netting e.g. nylon ones should not be part of the attire. However, lace-work looks nice. (But of course, it should not leave uncovered any portion except for lower arms, neck, hair/head. – Same for translucent or transparent clothing.
There may be another nice-looking, fine clothing just below the lace/lattice.
13
High heels, ‘stilettos’ etc. should not be used. Desirably, footwear that is uniformly (i.e. both the front and the hind parts) raised too high, should not be used either.
14
Attire that is on purpose made wet (i.e. as a style statement) should not be there. (But may be this is thinking too much 😊).
15
If weather is not too inclement at the time, then for all adults and preferably teenagers, in public places and institutions like schools, offices –
The dress should extend just beyond the ankle. (i.e. the ankles should be covered).
16
Special Case : This author knew of a school in which up to the 10th standard, the uniform of girls was a blouse (collared?) with a skirt (extending beyond the knee; perhaps pleated). This too is ‘alright’. Although simultaneously, the uniform should also include some other kind of dress or ‘tunic’/‘salwar-kameez’ even in secondary school. In the aforesaid school, from 11th standard, the uniform was ‘salwar kameez’ with dupatta folded properly and sewn or pinned. But for adults, it is much desirable that skirts be beyond the ankles.
In the future, pictures of some such proper dresses may be uploaded on this site.
17
NOTE : The Principle regarding ‘exceeding knee-level’ is an Essential one in the October Paper, but Principle regarding ‘exceeding ankle-level’ is not an essential one. It is ‘generally Desirable’.
Perhaps sometimes according to place, preoccupation/activity or weather it may be not practised. However the mentality of the person remains the same.
‘Bermudas’, sleeveless blouse or -‘top’ should not be used. 18
19
If on a given day, the weather is too unfavourable, then sleeveless blouse may be used. -or three-quarter pants for men. This kind of a thing might be necessary probably not more than 5-15 days in a year, even in the tropical regions.
[ These are principles of morality or culture/taste; not a dogma. It is the mentality/thought that matters; the attire is only a manifestation of it or out of practical necessity. Even if a person is constrained to wear the above kind of a dress (due to natural factors) of course he/she still believes in, likes the proper, right kind of dress ].
So for example if the weather is very hot and humid and the activity engaged in by the lady/girl would be very inconvenient if there is no gap between the upper and lower garments, or if there are sleeves, then even such attire – so long as it is practically necessary – may be worn. Such cases would be rare; may be a prolonged rescue operation in a building/tunnel or military activity in tropical weather.
[ -i.e. they would not need to be a part of daily life or routine, normal times, at all ].
What matters much more is that our family members and friends be comfortable and feel ‘free’ ].
*
20
This author thinks the sari, ‘salwar-kameez’, kurti/’tunic’ etc. are all good, normal attire.
Some traditional dresses of Bavaria and Austria, England look good.
Frocks look good.
21
It is desirable that jeans and top for women and minor girls be not used.
(Though the overall appearance or impression created by a person matters a lot or mostly on how he/she carries himself/herself. How he/she carries the dress.
B19
A pair of denims too can be relatively proper and ‘alright’ (though still avoidable for women except on treks, certain outdoor activities etc.). Or it may be too tight or ‘of a strange cut’.
Of course, one respects and loves a person. -Irrespective of his/her choice of apparel. But it is a matter of having the right awareness. Of ‘mentality’, culture.
B22
It indicates a much more problematic quality to pass rude/offensive remarks about a person because of the person’s attire, than the erroneous mentality that has picked that attire.
However the comment/expression of opinion/suggestion is not ‘offensive’ if it was done in a gentlemanly way, a well-meant way.
[ Clarification : It is not being implied that complete strangers randomly may or should proffer such suggestions. For practical reasons, that would be very inappropriate ].
B23
Men and boys should not wear tight-fitting clothes. Upper garment whose sleeve-line ends upon the biceps – and does not cover them – should not be used (this principle does not imply that this must be done for non-teenager boys).
Sometimes at home, in an innocent, comfortable way, a teenager boy or man may wear such a dress. But it is not generally to be practiced.
(This kind of a thing happens when he is wearing an old T-shirt of his).
B24
Similarly, in summer season in India, boys and men may wear a white vest (‘guernsey’?) at home.
B25
Torn, shredded apparels or those with holes/openings in them should not be used.
B26
Improper or undesirable text or graphics should not be present on clothing.
*
B27
In certain sports or athletic or exercise activities, wearing slacks?/shorts or appropriate sports-wear (should not be tight-fitting) (the ‘no gap between upper and lower garment’ principle still holds) may be alright. But if reasonably possible, ladies should carry out such activities – if with such attire – outside of the view of non-family member men/boys. This is not an absolute normative principle, but kind of desirable, on the whole.
It’s not at all wrong as such – a girl being in such an attire. Or a person who happens to be of the other gender being present there or watching the game. It can be done in a completely innocent and normal way by the youth (they are not even ‘two different parties’; they are just a group of young persons playing/watching). They can play together.
Ideally, a youth would not notice the attire of the other people in the group, or only in a purely good way. The youth would not notice the gender as such of other members of the group.
It is not at all ‘wrong’ or against morality as such to wear certain kinds of dresses in mixed company. It’s just that in a way, in a sense, it is more desirable, ‘proper’ or ‘good’ to wear only a certain kind of attire in mixed non-family company.
-While not implying anything problematic about ‘the other way’. They are both moral. They are not dichotomous or mutually invalidating/exclusionary. It is a little like quantum mechanics – two things/‘states’ can be true at once.
More such examples, riding. Rock-climbing. Mountaineering. (-i.e. by women).
B28
Salwar kameez should be worn with a dupatta or orni.
B29
The head may be covered. As and when the girl wants or the parents may suggest and if the girl agrees. Or on certain occasions.
(Of course, it is not essential in the Paper. But often it looks good).
~
B7
Manifestation of the quality of ‘normalcy’ (in a sense), dignity, decency or sense of ‘propriety’. (-in one’s attire, mannerisms, body language etc.).
This is fundamentally a quality of the mind.
~
Respectfully and gently speaking, there are many persons who wear ‘short’ dresses but they do not have any intention or mentality related to ‘sensuousness’. – Related to projection of oneself to oneself or others, as `high-’ or ‘richly endowed’ in certain traits.
And respectfully and gently speaking, there might be many persons who – at some level of consciousness – as a mistake, or error – wear such dresses out of the above mentality. – To be ‘noticeable’ or have ‘greater estimation’ in a way. -Even to ‘make a point to oneself’ perhaps. (I hope I have not said anything wrong).
In any case, it is avoidable.
One should be the right way.
B30
One should not use make-up.
Lip stick, preferably any agent to make the complexion look ‘whitish’, nail polish, rouge, artificial eyelashes, foundation etc. come in the category of ‘make-up’.
B31
However taking care of skin, face etc. e.g. applying moisturizer, facewash, talc in warm weather, lip-balm, wet wipes, deodorant, simple spray or other kinds of perfume etc. is – in a sense – part of healthcare or ‘personal care’. It is alright.
Same for sunscreen.
[ Perfumes should be generally avoided or entirely foregone. There should be no extravagance or ‘deep dive’ in things like perfumes. If it is fresh and likeable, or ‘wholesome’, it is enough ].
I have liked the fragrance/smell of quite a few of the relatively common creams/sprays, powders which are not much expensive either.
~
B32
Jewellery is generally avoidable. As a work of artisanship (placed in a case or on display) or an article of sentimental value, it may be preserved.
Ideally, one should not use jewellery at all. -Even in weddings (including that as a bride, groom).
Pearls often look nice. (the author has had little or no direct contact with them).
So do diamonds I guess, in very select situations/settings and of small or moderate size.
But it may be entirely avoided.
But as a principle, one may forego even pearls or any other stones etc.
Silverware looks good, but one should not spend too much on these.
~
B33
No beard.
-In almost all cases. As exceptional cases.. if very well-kempt and clean; but even then preferable not to. If a beard is maintained, then generally it should not be ‘French-cut’.
A ‘goatee’ is absolutely avoidable.
~
B34
It should not occur to a person that he may acquire a ‘tattoo’.
There should be no tatoos.
~
B35
A person of ideal mind, would not engage in self-deprecatory humour. He would not make such comments.
He would not show artificial humility.
~
B36
Absent from him would be cynicism.
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A37
A person should have the right mentality, thoughts. -As something his own, independently.
-Desirably as an original thought/belief.
-And not as a an ‘external rule’ or result often external imposition often a code or something; he/she should understand it and believe in it.
And if he often it, the right subjective mentality, based in fundamental positive ideas/thoughts, then he/she would choose the right act (among a range often possibilities in a given scenario), the right apparel/ ‘accessories’, the right kind often manner, -automatically and naturally.
Ideally, it would happen spontaneously and without any question often conscious ‘effort’.
-It is who he/she is.
The right kind often language/expressions, demeanour, behaviour.
B37
This is one of the most critical agendas/tasks in a person’s life : To maintain his/her ideal i.e. moral, emotional and cultured mindset, while at the same time be practically successful in life.
It is not always difficult. But sometimes can be. However, it is possible.
–equipped with the right knowledge, awareness, tips and (in early stages) practice. And after a period of time, it may even become habitual, and that should be the target. To make the balancing between the ideal and the practical in one’s life – effortless/without any conscious exertion and habitual.
This author thinks that there are a few such persons in most people’s knowledge too.
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A5
Being gentlemanly implies being of civilized character (of course), being benign (nireeh), peace-loving, and having a certain amount of goodness in him/her.
A defining quality of being gentlemanly or lady-like is being reasonably moral. Completely honest.
Having the awareness of and belief in decency. Dignity.
Not causing noise, disturbance or inconvenience to others.
(-i.e. when one has no moral justification for these).
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A38
Ideally, a person believes in the basic normative principle of aiming for something high.
(-In academics, vocation, one’s hobby, creative activities, play, acting upon the vision of an ideal society or habitat, a desired kind of family life or -times.
Or a certain kind of mental constitution, thoughts. Contemplation, reflections, imagination.
To be such a person).
Something of worth or value. (Unrelated to material gains or status).
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A12b
Even if a person’s occupation or primary interest is in an art or literature, he/she should still have a substantial interest in and do some reading and following of topics of science and technology, other fields of learning e.g. geology or earth sciences, medicine/biology etc.
The converse is equally true (Probably more true). Because each by itself is too important to miss out on, for a person in his life.
They also go toward building of the right culture and character in a person.
(Ideally, probably literature, ‘humanities’ (history, geography) are more important, but they cannot be compared or ranked in relation to each other.
But I firmly believe, in an ideal mind, both would co-exist naturally. -as a composite whole.
Indeed, there are some states of mind in which elements of both are there ).
Science and technology also many a times inspires, evokes wonder. -has a purifying effect on the mind.
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A39
A person should value greatly the idea of himself/herself being healthy, long-lived and well to do.
But a person should value more greatly the idea of having two to three children, their being of good character and culture. -Good boys and girls.
Their well-being and virtue.
One should have that aim.
He/she should be aware (in a way) about this principle from early teenage (from an even earlier age – if he/she happens to be growing up in the right kind of an environment – he/she would realise/feel the goodness and desirability of the above idea, even if it is not mentioned to him/her; even if not quite consciously). And from age 20 onwards, he should incorporate this principle in his/her life plans, plan consciously and practically for it.
From age 25 onwards (i.e. once he/she has graduated), this principle should be the foremost in his/her life plans; it should be the greatest factor influencing his/her decisions.
For men, all the children should be had preferably by age 37, and for women, preferably by age 33.
If necessary, he/she may tell himself/herself, that he/she may relax after this. The most important part of the aim has been attained.
Even outside of the family, the best form of wealth or the only ‘indispensable’ wealth is having good people around oneself. Persons one can depend on; in whose company one delights in. -Finds interesting.
But that mostly requires a little bit of effort on one’s own part too. – It is not like having an income and purchasing some consumer article with it.
One should also take care to be such a person to others.
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B38
In many cases, a person ends up not doing a good deed, -not helping others because of a want of resolve, awareness or ‘courage’, because of want of sufficient generosity with one’s time-energy-money (as an instinctive and momentary wrong decision which he later comes to rue), or because of simple embarrassment/awkwardness/shyness. All these hurdles will have to be set aside.
[Shyness is a good quality, but it must not adversely affect one’s taking the right or desirable actions].
One must condition, reinforce and consolidate this quality of being able to predictably/assuredly help others in need everytime.
The point is to make the necessary positive difference in the unfortunate person’s affairs, and not engage in an ‘exercise with oneself’. The thinking should be the ‘subject-person centric’ and not (even unconsciously/inadvertently-) self-centric.
-This is an easy mistake to make and common; perhaps this author too has made his share of it.
Being completely devoted to dharm (and so, detached from ego), and also knowing oneself well practically, checking on and correcting oneself as needed, -I believe would almost always achieve this goal.
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FOOTNOTES :
A12
Morality is the first word of culture.
(i.e. of the concept of ‘culture’).
A person without reasonable morality may be knowledgeable about and maintain appearances of culture, but he cannot be cultured.
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B36
Shyness is a good quality.
But being ‘outgoing’, starting interactions etc., at times being ‘lively’ is not an undesirable quality, either.
–
?
Virtues mentioned here include being sincere and involved in studies (not for career reasons), being interested in culture. -being cultured in the true sense; -‘in spirit’.. -without being showy or pretentious.
A1b
In an ideal society or habitat, most (not all) of the kinds of films (or rather specific kinds of scenes and language), music videos that are seen on the net or on TV , would not exist.
Because no film director/scriptwriter would conceive of such scenes/plots, no producer would finance them, no persons would be available to play such roles (i.e. those with improper or ‘not dignified’ content), and no persons (including the professionals) would act as the cameramen/editors for such projects.
And of course, as stated in Paper Habitat, the broadcast of such programs on TV or hosting of such contents on websites would be prohibited.
It is pornography (and ‘improper’, risqué or ‘sleaze’ kind of content) and improper language (whether obscenity or abusive/swear-words) that would be prohibited in the public sphere.
But of course there would be complete freedom to criticize people, including specifically, by mentioning name (while being subject to conventional, standard libel laws).