Making eye contact with people in the society, smiling sometimes. Having a small exchange for no particular reason.. these all should happen.
_
Sometimes, neighbours should be invited for evening tea or two women meeting, having a chat in their homes.
_
Practical :
You should do all the above, even if your neighbours or fellow society-members are ‘boring’ or ‘not your type’ or very imperfect. Only if they are of a criminal or very rascally character, do you have a genuine reason not to. And they can’t all be like that in a given neighborhood. (And if most are, then one needs to change one’s neighborhood).
If you have to tolerate a little wrong or offensive behaviour for this, then do so.
You need not make your interactions ideal (though you may be a person of idealistic concepts; a truly cultured person). Just be on terms that are ‘alright’, reasonably nice. At least with half of the people. (-While not accepting any serious wrong to yourself or any other innocent person, by them – if it comes to that).
Remember, how would you present the right ways and stand a chance of persuading other people, which is one of the necessary things in creating a good environment, if you do not meet them? -If you do not speak to them every now and then?
If you would not establish some kind of a working relationship, be on a modicum of agreeable terms, then how would you stand a chance of affecting change?
Also, one should listen to others, from time to time observe others carefully and ponder, in case one needs to bring about some changes in one’s own ways.
This is being said especially to our introvert, quiet, cultured souls. Often, you have to take that first step, walk an extra few metres to meet your fellow-beings. – Assuming they are of a character that is not too negative (obnoxious/harmful). All of the interactions wouldn’t be good, but a sufficient number would be good enough, so as to justify the effort, on the whole. Also, it’s for a higher cause. Plus, it would very well help you avoid huge practical problems several times in life. (But do not get ‘converted’ yourself in the process; maintain your good qualities).
You should do all these things with genuine inner ‘humility’ and politeness, and a love and most importantly – goodwill for your fellow society-members. At the same time, be suitably alert so as to guard yourself from being harmed by certain kinds of people.
~
Friends should be invited to, called home. -At least saying that first. And the friend too should agree. This should happen at least one-third to half of the times. The rest of the get-togethers may happen in a café, park etc.
~
In a good society, everyone should be considered the same and thought of only on the basis of his/her qualities- positive or negative. And we should act with everyone as such.
Irrespective of his/her wealth, power, appearance (‘looks’) etc.
In other words, we should think of and act with everyone the same way, no matter how wealthy, powerful, ‘important’ or beautiful / handsome the particular person is.
[ Of course, one must ensure one’s own safety while being around powerful people.
NOTE : In an ideal society, no person would have ‘power’ over another person. -At least not the power to cause harm or offence and be able to get away with it ].
It is like in a way, one should treat everyone as one’s cousin or neighbour.
It also implies that the behaviour of a person with other persons should not be affected by how much wealth, power, ‘good looks’ etc. one oneself has. Such a thought should not occur to that person. He/she should act with others, as equal, with an easy intimacy (as appropriate) and sincerity.
Wealth and aesthetics of appearance should not be determinants of whom we make friends with, or marry etc.
~
The members of a society – and this is very pertinent for India – have to reach a state where they trust one another. There is general trust amongst the people of the society.
Unfortunately, this is far from the case in contemporary India, even within the white-collar, professional class.
Somehow, by some method, we have to reach that point.
[ I am reminded of a line in The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien, where it is said that there was a point in time before which the elves used to trust one another implicitly, without any doubts, and after that point, they no longer did ].
We have to reclaim that earlier period.
___
It is desirable that society-members also be likeable, respectable and agreeable to one another, to a reasonable extent.
For example, being noisy goes against ‘being agreeable’. So does standing in a way that partially obstructs a passage or doorway.
~
We have to remember, building a good society is everyone’s responsibility. The focus should not be on competing and winning against one’s fellow-beings, but on building a community. And that takes effort, like raising a garden. Also, I have to be what I wish others to be.
Having a good society actually greatly enhances one’s personal well-being. The same is true for living in a good ‘community’ (here, the sum total of all the inhabitants of a neighbourhood, city or region).
It comes right after having a good family (which is heaven).
So, we have to invest properly in that cause. And one essential component of that is to maintain the relevant positive qualities within oneself.
Also, expect the right or good behaviour from your fellow society-members. But if they do not exhibit it, then mention it in a mild, unobtrusive way. Inculcation, repetitions as appropriate, and not rebuke or disowning.
Except for extreme cases, never cut off relationship, contact, ‘speaking terms’ with a fellow society-member. Persons who wish to see, who have tasked themselves with building a good-hearted, noble society, a cultured society, do not have that option. Also, ideally, from the dharm point of view, the right thing to do is moral appeal and inculcation.
And one must keep at it. Like a life’s work. Soft (sometimes firmness or voice-control – if needed), heartfelt speech. Reasonable words. Loving thoughts.
Patience and persistent efforts even upon receiving indifference or rudeness. Even if change comes in one-third of people, a partial change, it would be well worth the effort. And such change may accumulate over generations.
Sincerity, hard work and persistence together, has a weight all its own.
~
As an ideal principle, a dharmik thought, one should make overtures to one’s fellow-society members. Good gestures, words and help in need. (Of course, this should also be done generally for all sentient beings). -Ask after their well-being, think what might be bothering them. How to prevent or resolve other people’s problems.
Be a good person, kind and compassionate. A sympathetic, solicitous ear.
Take initiatives in this regard.
If your personal resources (time, energy and money) are limited in a particular case, then you should devote them preferentially, to the cause of those individuals who have greater goodness, morality and emotions in them. -That is, in case of limited resources, attention and assistance to a given person should be rendered in proportion to the good qualities in the person.
In this regard, also should be taken into account, is the person’s potential for becoming a ‘good person’.